Alternative Social Media

What’s up Pukers?

In our previous issue we almost explained why traditional social media is bad. Maybe we’ll get around to actually doing that one day, but today isn’t that day. In stead we thought we’d highlight a few alternative places for you to waste spend your time.

Now I know, I know, it’s scary.
The idea that Ζυсс & мυsĸ wouldn’t have direct influence over what you see every day is downright terrifying. They should know everything you say, everything you do, and your every interest. We need the warm glow of the constant advertisements…the posts from people you don’t know and couldn’t possible care about… and the bots… oh, I think I’ll miss the bots the very most. But we must be brave, we must press on.

First up we have…

Bluesky

Bluesky is a microblogging site that feels like early twitter. It’s got a timeline that’ll only show you what your friends are posting. It's got starterpacks, so you can quickly follow a ton of accounts suggested by someone else you follow. They’ve got shitposters. They’ve got some famous folks and politicians. They’ve got bots… but they appear to be working on that. It’s not perfect, but unlike the traditional social sites it happens to lack a “Controversies” section on it’s Wikipedia page.

SpaceHey

Spacehey is a ‘retro’ social media site that’s more or less a clone of MySpace from 2007. Make a profile. Add A bio. Learn some HTML and change how your profile looks. Upload a photo. Post a blog. Add your friends. Find new music. Message strangers and change the entire course of your future.

No ads, no algorithms, no pressure. If you want to support the site you can buy a sticker or a t-shirt. Let the nostalgia wash over you.

Personal Websites

Back when the air was clean and people weren’t fighting for their right to give their kid the measles, little personal websites were abundant. Depending on your age you may find that a little confusing. It may alarm you further to realize that this website itself is its own independent thing and that you’re not currently on TikTok (Hey, good job!). But it’s true, and even better, personal websites are going through a little bit of a resurgence thanks to websites like Neocities and The Melonland Project.

Want to see a random, weird little personal website? Click Here
Want to see one that’s particularly cool? Click Here

Now, sign up for Neocities and make a weird little website of your own. Get in contact with owners of other weird little websites and be little weirdos together. Meet In person. Sing, dance, play, make love, and give birth to even weirder little-er websites together.

In conclusion

You may be noticing a disturbing lack of algorithm here. look, I get it, you want your finger on the pulse. You need to know everything that’s happening, as it’s happening, always. You crave the overstimulation. You’ve got that classic Hyperspace-PTSD. The Cyberpsychosis. The Neuraldamage. You’re sick. We understand. We’ve got just what you need.

In our next issue we’ll be teaching you to build your own algorithm without these silly billionaires involved.

Don't forget to brush your teeth. Love you. <3

- The Writers

Written without AI, not even spell check.